Psychotherapists and Counsellors Answer your Questions

Indeed, after all I'm only human.

Indeed, after all I'm only human.

I feel incredibly fortunate and grateful to be doing something I love completely and to have a very balanced work-private life.

I feel incredibly fortunate and grateful to be doing something I love completely and to have a very balanced work-private life.

Of course :)

Of course :)

I occasionally have good hair days

I occasionally have good hair days

Absolutely! Just like everyone else, I have days that don’t go as planned. However, I’ve learned to embrace those moments, practice self-compassion, and focus on what I can control. It also...

Absolutely! Just like everyone else, I have days that don’t go as planned. However, I’ve learned to embrace those moments, practice self-compassion, and focus on what I can control. It also reminds me of the importance of being authentic and relatable, both in life and in my work as a therapist.

Is it possible to not have a 'bad hair' day? If you want to know how I deal with them, well, I usually cry. I'm human, just like you, and 'bad hair' days remind me I am not superwoman and I don't have...

Is it possible to not have a 'bad hair' day? If you want to know how I deal with them, well, I usually cry. I'm human, just like you, and 'bad hair' days remind me I am not superwoman and I don't have all the answers. I feel the same vulnerability and uncomfortable feelings that are part and parcel of being human. Professionally, 'bad hair' days look a little different and are dealt with by attending supervision to help me grow and process what's going on for me and how to better help my clients.

Yes, but I've learned to accept those times when things aren't going as I perhaps hoped. It is a common human experience to feel disappointed or frustrated by what life can throw at us. For me, these...

Yes, but I've learned to accept those times when things aren't going as I perhaps hoped. It is a common human experience to feel disappointed or frustrated by what life can throw at us. For me, these are the times when self-compassion is so important. I believe self-compassion is an ongoing practise and is something that all humans can do for themselves when the going gets tough. So I both practise it in my own life and help my clients to practise self-compassion, so they can begin to treat themselves more kindly when they have a 'bad hair' day.

I do! I have parts of myself that get triggered and upset. I have days where I feel anxious and worried. And I have an amazing therapist of my own that I speak to about it all.

I do! I have parts of myself that get triggered and upset. I have days where I feel anxious and worried. And I have an amazing therapist of my own that I speak to about it all.

Yes, bad hair days come with mid-life ... but I have found a great conditioner! I have my ups and downs, and days where my energy can be a bit low. But I find that being present and giving service...

Yes, bad hair days come with mid-life ... but I have found a great conditioner! I have my ups and downs, and days where my energy can be a bit low. But I find that being present and giving service to my clients helps me to move beyond these challenges.

No, I have never had a bad hair day! I embraced my hair for what it is many years ago - dead straight, and going grey. I get comments on the grey all the time and people find it hard to believe this...

No, I have never had a bad hair day! I embraced my hair for what it is many years ago - dead straight, and going grey. I get comments on the grey all the time and people find it hard to believe this means I visit the hairdresser 3 times a year. That's definitely a good thing for me as I'm not one to enjoy sitting in the salon!!

Of course. And I will continue to have 'bad hair' days in the future. It's not a question of having perfect hair. It's a question of tipping the balance in favour of having more 'good hair' days than...

Of course. And I will continue to have 'bad hair' days in the future. It's not a question of having perfect hair. It's a question of tipping the balance in favour of having more 'good hair' days than bad ones.

Of course I do... I am human after all. Our energy, moods, outlook and daily life experiences shift with each moment and with each day, bringing a different flavour to how we experience the present...

Of course I do... I am human after all. Our energy, moods, outlook and daily life experiences shift with each moment and with each day, bringing a different flavour to how we experience the present moment with clients. Some days are just bad hair days. When I am having these kind of days, I always like to remind myself that clients place their trust in me and pay me to guide them through their challenges. I value and respect this deeply. With age and experience these days have become less and less, as I've learnt to put aside my stuff and be completely present for each client.

Absolutely—I have “bad hair” days just like everyone else! We all have moments when things feel overwhelming or don’t go as planned. What matters is how we handle those days, and I’m a big...

Absolutely—I have “bad hair” days just like everyone else! We all have moments when things feel overwhelming or don’t go as planned. What matters is how we handle those days, and I’m a big believer in self-compassion and finding ways to reset and refocus. I draw on the same strategies I share with my clients: taking a breath, embracing imperfections, and remembering that it’s okay to have off days. It’s all part of being human, and those moments often make us stronger and more relatable.

Yes, when a client does not show up for a session.

Yes, when a client does not show up for a session.

Funnily enough, I'm more likely to have bad beard days!

Funnily enough, I'm more likely to have bad beard days!

Yes, just like anyone else, I definitely have my share of 'bad hair' days! These are the days when things don’t go as planned, or I’m feeling a bit off or out of sync. I believe it's important to...

Yes, just like anyone else, I definitely have my share of 'bad hair' days! These are the days when things don’t go as planned, or I’m feeling a bit off or out of sync. I believe it's important to acknowledge that even as a therapist, I’m human, and I experience challenges and frustrations just like everyone else. On those days, I try to practice the same self-compassion and mindfulness that I encourage in my clients. Whether it’s taking a moment to breathe, stepping outside for some fresh air, or simply reminding myself that it’s okay not to be perfect, these small acts help me reset and approach the day with a bit more ease. In a way, 'bad hair' days remind me that life is full of ups and downs, and that’s perfectly normal. They also give me the opportunity to practice what I preach by being kind to myself and not letting the small things derail my sense of balance. Sometimes, those days can lead to moments of growth and reflection, which ultimately helps me connect more authentically with my clients.

Every day at the moment; I keep not getting around to the hair cut I increasingly need. Of course I have bad hair days though. The ones where I notice that I'm quicker to judge the people around...

Every day at the moment; I keep not getting around to the hair cut I increasingly need. Of course I have bad hair days though. The ones where I notice that I'm quicker to judge the people around me, or perhaps myself. The ones where all the work I've put in and all the progress I usually feel I've made instead feels like it's actually gotten me nowhere. I start just by noticing that I'm having a bad day though, and then decide whether I need to go a bit easier on myself.

Of course! Like everyone I am sometimes a bit tired, distracted, or in a mood that makes therapy a bit harder to do. I make mistakes, confront difficult aspects of my personality, and am frustrated by...

Of course! Like everyone I am sometimes a bit tired, distracted, or in a mood that makes therapy a bit harder to do. I make mistakes, confront difficult aspects of my personality, and am frustrated by my limitations. But I remind myself that doing my best is very important to me, which helps me carry on.

Yass of course

Yass of course

Not since I started shaving my head. But now I have 'bad hat' days.

Not since I started shaving my head. But now I have 'bad hat' days.

As I am bald the answer could be always or never or both. But, in a less literal sense. Absolutely as I am human.

As I am bald the answer could be always or never or both. But, in a less literal sense. Absolutely as I am human.

Yes. All the time :) Every now and again I have a great hair day and I try to roll with those as a lovely bonus rather than the end game.

Yes. All the time :) Every now and again I have a great hair day and I try to roll with those as a lovely bonus rather than the end game.

Yes, there are days when I, like anyone else, may experience what could be called bad hair days. On those occasions, when I feel less centered or grounded, I have found solace and rejuvenation...

Yes, there are days when I, like anyone else, may experience what could be called bad hair days. On those occasions, when I feel less centered or grounded, I have found solace and rejuvenation through the practice of meditation. By taking time for self-reflection and mindfulness, I can cultivate a sense of inner calm and reconnect with a place of peace within myself. Meditation helps me to restore balance, clarity, and focus, allowing me to show up fully present for my clients and provide them with the support they need. It is through these moments of meditation that I replenish my energy and reaffirm my commitment to the therapeutic process.

Of course! We all have bad days. It's how we deal with these bad days and move forward.

Of course! We all have bad days. It's how we deal with these bad days and move forward.

Oh yes :)

Oh yes :)

Yes! I will occasionally have days where life's challenges will get to me a little too much. As a therapist, I know that I am not immune from this, and that I have the responsibility not to let that...

Yes! I will occasionally have days where life's challenges will get to me a little too much. As a therapist, I know that I am not immune from this, and that I have the responsibility not to let that impact on my work with my clients. That means that I will occasionally take days off to ensure I am rested and have a good hair day the next day!

Everyone does.

Everyone does.

Yes but I keep it cut short!

Yes but I keep it cut short!

Literally? No - my bald head is always... well, the same. Figuratively? Sure - I try to own them and be transparent about bad hair days, though. I think it's the only way.

Literally? No - my bald head is always... well, the same. Figuratively? Sure - I try to own them and be transparent about bad hair days, though. I think it's the only way.

I don't have much hair but metaphorically I do!

I don't have much hair but metaphorically I do!

Of course, I think everyone does! Sometimes you have to just do your best with what you've got to work with, and be kind to yourself.

Of course, I think everyone does! Sometimes you have to just do your best with what you've got to work with, and be kind to yourself.

All. The. Time.

All. The. Time.

Of course!

Of course!

Yes, like other humans, there are times of challenge. But, these days I have more internal resources and skilful ways of responding and view these challenges or walls also as Windows/opportunities.

Yes, like other humans, there are times of challenge. But, these days I have more internal resources and skilful ways of responding and view these challenges or walls also as Windows/opportunities.

I do. Everyone does. When I do, life is challenging me to walk my talk.

I do. Everyone does. When I do, life is challenging me to walk my talk.

Ha! Yes, mostly when i'm tired.

Ha! Yes, mostly when i'm tired.

Sure, you should see my hair some days... Seriously though, nobody is immune to having a bad day. I work hard in my practice to be fully present for my clients and bring a realness to my approach.

Sure, you should see my hair some days... Seriously though, nobody is immune to having a bad day. I work hard in my practice to be fully present for my clients and bring a realness to my approach.

All the time, but I don't get taken in by them. I break free through faith and openness.

All the time, but I don't get taken in by them. I break free through faith and openness.

Yes, unfortunately!

Yes, unfortunately!

Yes I do because I am not perfect.

Yes I do because I am not perfect.

All the time

All the time

I sure do. But I just try to practice self-compassion and go with the flow as much as possible. One of my favourite mantras is this too shall pass!

I sure do. But I just try to practice self-compassion and go with the flow as much as possible. One of my favourite mantras is this too shall pass!

They are very rare as my daily practice of Focusing keeps me both anchored within myself and alert to any subtle (or louder) stirrings inside me that need my attention or that need company. Focusing...

They are very rare as my daily practice of Focusing keeps me both anchored within myself and alert to any subtle (or louder) stirrings inside me that need my attention or that need company. Focusing starts like a meditating process. However it soon diverges. At the point where a meditating person will let go of the present thought, emotion or situation that concerns them, as a focuser, I pause, turn towards it, remain open to it, and start to relate to it.

Its ok if you do not panic about it.

Its ok if you do not panic about it.

I certainly do. But I have number of different techniques and rituals to 'put my hair back in the place' and always ensure I show up as my best for my clients.

I certainly do. But I have number of different techniques and rituals to 'put my hair back in the place' and always ensure I show up as my best for my clients.

Bad hair days? I have bad hair weeks, months and even years.

Bad hair days? I have bad hair weeks, months and even years.

Of course, everyone does, but it doesn't usually bother me. The beauty of being a therapist is that I can forget about all of that when I am with a client and just be in the moment with them.

Of course, everyone does, but it doesn't usually bother me. The beauty of being a therapist is that I can forget about all of that when I am with a client and just be in the moment with them.

YES! I'm having one today. It could be the weather or the early morning start. Either way it's just hair and not all of me!

YES! I'm having one today. It could be the weather or the early morning start. Either way it's just hair and not all of me!

Looking at my receding hairline I have to answer yes'. As Buddha used to say: “Life is suffering.” We cannot escape it. We all have to face our own mortality and loss in different ways....

Looking at my receding hairline I have to answer yes'. As Buddha used to say: “Life is suffering.” We cannot escape it. We all have to face our own mortality and loss in different ways. We are confronted at times with a sense of meaninglessness in life. We are the one's who make that meaning. And if we do not trust the authority of our own knowing, then we can really struggle. When I have a bad hair day', I try to suffer well.

Of course! I am human. As a mother of two young children, 'bad har day' has a new sleep deprived meaning.

Of course! I am human. As a mother of two young children, 'bad har day' has a new sleep deprived meaning.

I started losing my hair when I was 23, so I'm not sure that I've had a good hair day in years! In all seriousness, I am only human and naturally, I have bad hair days. One thing I have noticed,...

I started losing my hair when I was 23, so I'm not sure that I've had a good hair day in years! In all seriousness, I am only human and naturally, I have bad hair days. One thing I have noticed, however, is that the more I have worked on myself the less bad and frequent those days have become. Things still dip and go down from time to time, but those dips don't feel as deep. I'm also better at just 'sitting with it' rather than trying to change things or acting out in response to my situation. I've learned that everything changes, eventually. That's been a hard lesson to learn, however.

Yes, of course! Without it I wouldn't be compelled to consider alternatives that are better and more in the service of remaining an effective therapist and more importantly, a better person to be...

Yes, of course! Without it I wouldn't be compelled to consider alternatives that are better and more in the service of remaining an effective therapist and more importantly, a better person to be with. It's a good reminder of my vulnerability and keeps me mindful about my own journey and personal practice. On a professional level, ongoing supervision is the place where these bad hair' days can be explored and worked through.

Due to being quite bald this is every day! Yes, like everyone I have my ups and downs.

Due to being quite bald this is every day! Yes, like everyone I have my ups and downs.

Yes, of course, when I sleep in and run out the door! It happens way too often.

Yes, of course, when I sleep in and run out the door! It happens way too often.

A bad hair day would mean going to the hair dresser! But if you mean do I find my work causes me to suffer? the answer is NO! Sometimes it takes many tries/sessions for patients to open themselves up...

A bad hair day would mean going to the hair dresser! But if you mean do I find my work causes me to suffer? the answer is NO! Sometimes it takes many tries/sessions for patients to open themselves up to facing their disavowed feelings, but I know if they are willing to work, so am I.

Literally - yes. My hair won't do anything right unless I've had a shower and then stuck it in place with whatever gummy hair product I have around. Figuratively? Absolutely. In a way, though,...

Literally - yes. My hair won't do anything right unless I've had a shower and then stuck it in place with whatever gummy hair product I have around. Figuratively? Absolutely. In a way, though, moving into counselling changed how a bad day feels to me. When I have a bad day now, its like an opportunity to learn something which might help someone else later. I can reflect on what happened, how I felt and how I eventually got out of it and maybe one day that will become something I talk about in a session when someone has a similar experience to me.

Sometimes.

Sometimes.

Of course when its humid!

Of course when its humid!

Who doesn't, but life's too short!

Who doesn't, but life's too short!

YES!! I have bad hair days where the planets don't align or where my mojo is out of sorts. I really try to be aware of these days and if I turn up a bit ruffled I am upfront with the participant and...

YES!! I have bad hair days where the planets don't align or where my mojo is out of sorts. I really try to be aware of these days and if I turn up a bit ruffled I am upfront with the participant and usually things work out ok.

Yes of course! Being a therapist doesn't mean I have perfected anything! While I do come to work very regulated, I am also having human experiences in my life. I live a numinous life, meaning I aspire...

Yes of course! Being a therapist doesn't mean I have perfected anything! While I do come to work very regulated, I am also having human experiences in my life. I live a numinous life, meaning I aspire to keep reaching, evolving, moving forward and this also means I respect cycles - we won't always be expanding - sometimes we are devolving in order to learn something different.

All the time. I have straight Asian hair and unbeknown to non Asians they are a nightmare to keep looking tidy!

All the time. I have straight Asian hair and unbeknown to non Asians they are a nightmare to keep looking tidy!

Bad hair days are just days when our hair is being more creative than usual. The trick is to roll with it, lean into the crazy hair, or get a really cool hat.

Bad hair days are just days when our hair is being more creative than usual. The trick is to roll with it, lean into the crazy hair, or get a really cool hat.

Literally: not really. I don't have much hair to speak of. Figuratively: of course. Everyone does.

Literally: not really. I don't have much hair to speak of. Figuratively: of course. Everyone does.