Dr Jonathan Tandos

A conversation with Jonathan Tandos

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  Most of my life people have been coming to me to share their stories and issues. In my first experience as a client in counselling I felt inspired and began to consider whether I wanted to be a therapist myself. When I first started studying psychology it fit me, which was in stark contrast to what previous studies felt like. It feels like its genuinely me.
  
  People fascinate me and my curiosity and empathy in the work has not diminished in two decades. As a creative person, dealing with the complexities of people has been a very compelling challenge in adapting to what a specific person needs.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  Most of all I've been influenced by Internal Family Systems (IFS), attachment theory, developmental psychology and identity development processes. I've also been influenced by psychoanalysis and Jungian psychology, dreamwork, the nervous system and neuroscience of psychology, Buddhism and mindfulness, transpersonal psychology and altered states of consciousness, synchronicity, The Art of Relating, Myers-Briggs/Jungian personality theory, The Enneagram, The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), Ericksonian hypnosis, mBraining/mBIT (Heartmath), Neorolinguistic Programming (NLP), Gestalt therapy, Multidimensional Psychology (MDP), Havening, Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing (EMDR), Somatic Experiencing (SE), Polyvagal theory, astrology, tarot, mythology and storytelling, following one's heart, queer theory and embodied identity, and Presence

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  I am interested in the health of the whole human being - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. I believe that depression, anxiety, trauma and grief are not merely conditions that require treatment, but can signal important Iife transitions, rites of passage, crises or dilemmas that can lead to profound growth and change. Suffering is an inevitable part of the universal human condition but can be transformed through compassion and awareness. I feel we are all here to be the fullest expression of our true selves that we can be, and therapy should bring expansion and greater authenticity of self to people's lives.

• What methods do you use?

  I chiefly use IFS, mindfulness/ACT, and hypnosis, alongside Polyvagal theory (Spiral), aspects of NLP, Gestalt Therapy, havening and compassion based approaches. My orientation is to work deeply on a personality and attachment level as I find this leads to the greatest change. I find myself sharing stories, anecdotes, and referring to various aspects of culture with my clients at times, often trying to assist them to understand the powerful impact of their social, family and cultural conditioning on their lives.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  I think clients begin to feel progress when they form a collaborative and trusting relationship with the therapist in which they feel understood and accepted, and when they start to better understand themselves in a way that feels significant.
  
  And for most people progress is also felt when they start to suffer less and move further towards the life they truly desire and value. There can be powerful wake up call moments, or deep transformative, emotion releasing moments along the way with certain methods I use, and these really strengthen a client's ongoing commitment to the work.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  I feel like I have grown and changed a great deal through both the therapy I have undergone myself and and that I now deliver. Each of my clients is a teacher to me. Through therapy I have become more patient, understanding, compassionate, balanced, and self-accepting of my shortcomings.
  
  Maybe greatest of all, therapy has helped lead to a great emergence and deepening into my identity over time. My personal journey of identity has led to a great affinity with clients with identity issues, especially queer clients, and I learn more and more about my own identity in working with all my clients. To see parts of oneself in all of my clients strengthens my empathy and deepens my connection to humanity.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  I like the individual relationships I form with clients, hearing people's unique stories and becoming more curious. When therapy becomes longer term it is a privilege to be part of the person's ongoing growth and development and to help honour how far that person has come.
  
  I also like interacting with colleagues and learning about all the different ways to be a good therapist. A good day's work as a therapist can be very satisfying, even with the challenges.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  Of course! Like everyone I am sometimes a bit tired, distracted, or in a mood that makes therapy a bit harder to do. I make mistakes, confront difficult aspects of my personality, and am frustrated by my limitations. But I remind myself that doing my best is very important to me, which helps me carry on.

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  I think a lack of compassion for ourselves and others and difficulty in having healthy boundaries drives many of the problems in the world today. Materialism, competitiveness and lack of community have driven us from empathy, respect, love and other important human values.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  There are many but what immediately comes to mind is Paulo Coehlo's book The Alchemist which inspires and deeply comforts me, and that I've often turned to in troubled times.
  
  The version of the song Home from the Diana Ross musical film The Wiz, sung by Michaela Jae Rodriguez and Billy Porter from the show Pose is very special to me.