Mr Brian Whiter

A conversation with Brian Whiter

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  For as long as I can remember, I have wondered about the meaning of life. My curiosity about why and how we slip into unstable mental health, and then remain in those unhealthy patterns for indefinite periods, got me interested in the study of the various psychotherapies. I decided to pursue psychotherapy as a profession as it gradually began to point to ways in which I could understand what it meant to be human, and in relationship, and how to better understand myself in these relational dimensions.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  I am influenced by both, Eastern and Western philosophies. I have studied Tibetan Buddhism since 1992. I started classical yoga at an Ashram in South India in 2006 and have continued to be influenced by these philosophies and practices.
  Existential philosophy and practice supports my approach to finding meaning in the way we live. It has provided me with a significant understanding about the human predicament and it informs me about how a person is situated in their various world views (physical, social, personal and spiritual). The psychodynamic approach allows me to understand a person's distress in the classical Freudian structure of the psyche (the mind), which is helpful to place the person's narrative in the context of the stages of their developmental functioning. The Gestalt approach helps to work with experiential processes where the client begins to explore ways of being, offering new possibilities not known to them before.
  
  Integrating both Eastern and Western approaches has been beneficial to me and quite naturally, these have become my integrated praxis.
  

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  From this integrated approach I would say that I am particularly interested in how a person could discover a more satisfactory and meaningful way of being. A persons's well-being is never static and can be felt on a continuum from traumatic to ecstatic. It is about bringing an awareness to ones way of living, the choices we have to make and the ultimate concerns we have about life and living, that I am most keen to support, in a person's journey towards more meaningful and fulfilling living.

• What methods do you use?

  Essentially it is an integrated approach as described above. As I have also been trained in the use of hypnotherapy and mindfulness, I sometimes refer to these applications, in consultation with the client, whenever required.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  Early signs of progress are when the client accepts that the journey of therapeutic discovery has to come from within themselves. This is seen in the context of a person developing an attitude of responsibility. Feeling stuck or struggling with dilemmas are also signs of progress, as these are the times when we need to make a detour in our everyday ways of being and get to work with the more difficult demands of our existence. Once again this calls for resilience and a demonstration that when the going gets tough we see the tough get going! Progress is visible when a person becomes more accepting of their lived experience and ventures into those experiences more fully and stays with the process of exploration to discover how they may have arrived at this way of being. From here, they may consider new ways of being that are more authentic and satisfying. Progress could also be said to be made when distress, previously experienced in ways that were constricting and distressing, are now viewed as part of the ongoing journey of one's life that needs to be experienced and understood. Essentially, progress could be felt when a person begins to feel parts of themselves becoming more integrated and a sense of acceptance of being who they are along with the courage and faith of moving into places that feel different, new and authentic.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  As the cliché has it, "it's not the goal, it's the journey'! Therapists are no less flawed than anyone else. Indeed most have to a greater or lesser extent suffered, and the process of recovery, learning and the consolidation of this learning into one's lifestyle brings about beneficial and lasting change. My journey continues to be probed with curiosity, learning, mindfulness and tested in relationship. It is character changing and character building.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  Life and living is a complex matrix of certainties and uncertainties. My ongoing learning and practice continues to bring me closer to remaining connected to others in more meaningful ways.
  The healing that I have experienced and the journey that never fails to point to an abundantly more satisfying way of living, keeps me interested in being a therapist. These are the possibilities and hopes I have and like to share with others.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  Yes, of course! Without it I wouldn't be compelled to consider alternatives that are better and more in the service of remaining an effective therapist and more importantly, a better person to be with. It's a good reminder of my vulnerability and keeps me mindful about my own journey and personal practice. On a professional level, ongoing supervision is the place where these "bad hair' days can be explored and worked through.

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  Despite the many advances that we see around us that provide for a life of ease, life still remains problematic and our personal issues remain elusive! Among the many problems that come to mind, what really strikes me as being problematic is our general inability to reflect on things that matter. Instead, we keep busy in order to feel that we are achieving something of importance.
  
  I say this in the context of avoiding the challenges of getting to attend to our deepest questions and concerns of our living. Instead, we pretend that a solution is just around the corner, looking for instant relief, not waiting to discover what we as individuals have done and continue to do to perpetuate this distress.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  A song called Nature Boy comes to mind. It was composed by Nat King Cole and the lyrics go like this...
  There was a boy
  A very STRANGE ENCHANTED boy.
  They say he wandered very far, very far, over land and sea.
  A little SHY and SAD of eye,
  But very wise, VERY WISE was he...
  Until one day,
  ONE LUCKY day he passed my way,
  And while we talked of many things
  Fools and Kings
  This he said to me:
  “The greatest thing
  YOU'LL ever learn
  Is just to love
  And be loved, in return...