Ms Nicky Angelone

A conversation with Nicky Angelone

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  I had a moment of passion in 2015 (at 43 years old), for the first time in my life, where I realised my calling was to support people experiencing emotional issues that were negatively impacting their behaviour and quality of life.
  
  That day, in my old corporate style I came up with a 90-day plan to change careers. I then transitioned from corporate finance to counselling via yoga teaching, wellness coaching and mindfulness meditation teaching, while getting clear on the right counselling course for me which was to have an experiential and practical basis.
  
  The psychological skills I've learnt from all of these studies, and just as importantly, my life experience of struggle, stress, and loss, have allowed me to do this work full time; be inspired by my clients, and be nourished by living true to my values and strengths.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  I resonate strongly with Carl Rogers' core attributes of the therapist in counselling being 1) authenticity, 2) unconditional positive regard for the client, and 3) accurate empathic understanding. As recent research has affirmed, the therapeutic relationship factors as much as 30% on the client making changes in therapy. These are the qualities I strive to bring to each client session.
  
  I am inspired by, and believe, Rogers' famous quote, 'The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change.'
  
  In practicing yoga since 2005 and teaching since 2015, I see parallels in yoga and psychotherapy. Yoga, in many ways, is a practice of accepting ourselves, understanding ourselves, and learning to be with ourselves. Through this process, with interest and curiosity, we develop compassion and kindness. These qualities permeate from us to our relationships, offering more peace and acceptance, both within and outside ourselves.

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  I am particularly interested in why we do the things we do, think the thoughts we think, and feel the way we do. Through each study area I embark on there are different theories of what causes us to be the way we are. I am enjoying this exploration, complemented by journeying with my clients as they do just this, in understanding themselves.
  
  I am partial to strengths based approaches, and remembering and focusing on what works for us as an individual, and building the inner resources from this basis.

• What methods do you use?

  Person Centred Counselling, Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), Focusing Oriented Therapy (FOT), Brief Solution Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT - Tapping)

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  I hope the client leaves each session with a sense of progress being made. In the initial session my intention is that you leave with hope for what is to come. From then, as we work on what you want to achieve from counselling, we check in regularly, to notice, small and big changes that provide the reminder that change is happening. Change can be slow and when we make changes we often forget the old version of ourselves who did things differently. It's a fascinating phenomena that when we change we become that new version and can miss that a change has occurred. We often need to actively reflect on how we are responding or behaving differently.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  I wouldn't be where I am today without therapy. My therapist has been there through my career challenges, life challenges, relational challenges, and supported me in believing I could do what I'm doing. Old Nicky would have said she needed to work for someone, she needed stability and security in being employed. She didn't have the confidence to back herself and follow her passion. Thanks to therapy I have transformed, and continue to grow and change each and every week.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  I love my clients. It is a privilege and an honour to be trusted to share intimate and vulnerable parts and places. I have always had a deep interest in human behaviour and the human mind and now I get to work in a way where I am privy to this information that you don't see on the street, just in the therapy room. I am deeply grateful for this.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  No, I have never had a bad hair day! I embraced my hair for what it is many years ago - dead straight, and going grey. I get comments on the grey all the time and people find it hard to believe this means I visit the hairdresser 3 times a year. That's definitely a good thing for me as I'm not one to enjoy sitting in the salon!!

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  Climate change, unfortunately.
  
  I also believe the after effects of Covid are going to continue for many years. Many of my clients have suffered from the isolation, from losing loved ones and not being able to see them in hospital, or attend a funeral. One client had to fight to get overseas to see her unexpectedly dying father. She just made it, attended the funeral and flew straight home to be isolated in hotel quarantine for 2 weeks, in another state. She isn't the only one and many people have their own story of losing loved ones, or being psychologically impacted by the extensive lockdown period in Melbourne. These difficult times are coming out now, and I expect will continue to surface in unassuming ways. We need to be mindful of this in these coming years. There is significant disenfranchised grief, 'a loss that's not openly acknowledged, socially mourned, or publicly supported'. And it's my job to work with people to acknowledge and tend to these losses they haven't felt able to.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  I have a couple of small sculptures my children made in early high school years that inspire me when I see them. They remind me of how much I love them, and how special it is to be their mum. And they add a touch of quirkiness to our home, which I love, too.