Tanya Rae

A conversation with Tanya Rae

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  My fascination with stories has always been at the heart of my interest in psychotherapy. From a young age, I was captivated by the way stories have the power to shape and transform how we feel, think, and show up in the world. I believe that the stories we tell ourselves, both consciously and unconsciously, play a huge role in how we navigate life, and part of the healing process is discovering and reshaping those narratives. Alongside this, I’ve always had a deep curiosity about human psychology—what drives us, why we act the way we do, and how we can better understand and support each other through life’s challenges.
  
  Over the years, I’ve become increasingly aware of how much culture and society influence our belief systems, often shaping our beliefs in ways we don’t even realise. I’m fascinated by how vastly diverse people’s ways of communicating can be, influenced by their unique life experiences, and I love learning from these unique perspectives. At the same time, I’m always reminded of the deep commonalities that bind us—despite our different backgrounds, we all experience core emotions like grief, confusion, despair, delight, joy and love. This shared human experience is what drew me to counselling—helping people navigate these universal emotions and stories, and guiding them toward healing and self-discovery.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  My work is inspired by the idea that we all have the power to shift our perspective, even in challenging times, much like Oscar Wilde's quote: "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." I believe that hope, a fresh outlook and the freedom to re-frame our challenges can open new doors for self-discovery and growth.

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  I am deeply interested in how we can cultivate a greater sense of peace through an increased awareness of our thoughts and emotions. By developing a mindful relationship with our inner experiences, we can begin to separate ourselves from the constant stream of mental noise, allowing us to respond to life with more clarity and ease. I also focus on healing and transforming pain into avenues for growth, exploring how our most painful experiences can become powerful catalysts for change. This process often involves understanding how the stories we tell ourselves shape our reality, and how shifting those narratives can open new pathways to meaning and self-empowerment.

• What methods do you use?

  I work from a traditionally holistic and strengths-based approach. This takes into account the physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological factors to determine the potential causes of imbalance, discomfort or dis-ease.
  
  Theoretically I draw from a wide spectrum of modalities including Narrative Therapy, Existential Therapy, Parts Work, Mindfulness and various strengths-based approaches. I am particularly interested in the role of language and the influence of social and cultural conditioning in shaping one's belief systems.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  Progress is very unique to each individual, so when a client starts to feel a shift, it can look very different depending on what they’re experiencing. Some might notice a sense of relief or clarity after just a few sessions, while for others, progress may show up as a deeper awareness of patterns or emotional responses over time. Ultimately, therapy is less about a specific timeline of ‘getting better’ and more about expanding your awareness and deepening your understanding of yourself so you have the freedom to make different choices.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  I learned how to set strong boundaries, especially when it meant disappointing others. I learned how to navigate conflict with greater self-responsibility and less blame on the other person. I learned how to self-soothe. I learned that how we respond to life can be a choice, and not a default response. I learned we can find greater meaning in life through a shift in perspective and awareness. I learned to accept more of myself.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  What I love most about being a therapist is being able to offer a space that counters the prevailing belief that we should simply suppress or bypass our emotions in order to keep moving forward and get on with things. Therapy presents a radical opportunity to slow down, curiously explore, and accept all parts of ourselves—especially the ones we're often taught to neglect or ignore. It provides a rare, safe and sacred window where individuals can voice their deepest fears, regrets, and vulnerabilities, transforming them in ways that bring healing, self-compassion, and growth.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  On occasion, I might have days where my hair is (by today's perfectionistic societal standards) "aesthetically-challenged", but I find that these days generally lead to a greater appreciation of the days in which my hair is perfectly well-behaved (or "good").

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  The most significant problem we face today is a deep fear of vulnerability, which prevents us from showing our true selves and admitting to our fears and insecurities. This fear, combined with a growing sense of disconnection from ourselves, others and our environment, leaves many of us feeling numb, alone and adrift in a world full of endless distractions and comparison traps.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  I am inspired by the fluid dreamscapes present in the surrealist movement, namely in the works by Salvador Dali. I have long since admired Dali’s 1944 surrealist piece 'Dream, Caused by the Flight of a Bee (Around a Pomegranate a Second Before Awakening)'. It encapsulates some of Dali's ideas on the nature of the subconscious mind, and hints to the mysterious relationship between dreams and waking reality.
  
  I have discovered new avenues of curiosity through many books with highlights including The Book by Alan Watts, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, Cultivating Spiritual Maturity by Lalitha Thomas, When The Body Says No by Gabor Mate & The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk.