Mr Robin Wilkinson

A conversation with Robin Wilkinson

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  Like many therapists, I've come into my profession through my own healing journey. But I've always been a space holder for people. I'm the one people turn to when they need to discuss something or process emotions. I'm calm, non-judgemental and a good listener. I've also been fascinated by psychology, consciousness and human potential for many years.
  
  When I was a shiatsu therapist, my favourite part was post-treatment, when clients were feeling relaxed and expansive and would start talking about what was going on for them emotionally. Over time my shiatsu treatments evolved into informal counselling sessions. At the same time, I was a volunteer for a harm reduction organisation, helping guide people through bad psychedelic experiences at festivals. When I hit a life and career crisis several years later, moving more formally into counselling seemed like a natural progression. I can honestly say that I've never regretted that decision.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  Trauma-informed practice: we all carry some degree of trauma, whether it's personal or intergenerational.
  
  Attachment theory: the way we neurobiologically bond to other humans is fascinating and so important in relationships.
  
  Somatic approaches: how our bodies record and store our experiences and how these affect our mind and health.
  
  Existential and phenomenological approach: this is a fancy way of trying to see reality from the inside out, how clients construct and make sense of their experiences
  
  Person-centred approach: from experience, the magic of therapy happens when we meet, as individuals, in a place of acceptance and non-judgment
  
  Human potential: as humans, we are capable of so many things we dream about

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  Connection and relationships. The more I learn about neurobiology, the more I learn how we are wired for social and human connection. There are many studies emerging that demonstrate how lack of connection is harmful to health. We literally need each other to survive.
  
  Normalising emotions such as shame, guilt, anger, fear, and anxiety that normally get buried or suppressed.
  
  Allowing deeper connection with the body. There's a lot of wisdom and power to be obtained when we connect on a somatic level. This can be challenging for many people, especially if they have experienced trauma, so my approach is to go slow and create safety first.

• What methods do you use?

  For couples, I primarily draw upon the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT), which uses attachment and the nervous system to help couples move into what we call 'secure functioning', where partners become the expert regulators of each other.
  
  We may talk a lot, and sometimes we may play games or do exercises. I may safely guide you to learn to recognise how your body communicates different experiences and feelings. I may teach you mindfulness or meditation techniques.
  
  I have a lot of techniques to draw upon drawn from different schools such as Family Therapy, Jungian and Narrative Therapy, Transpersonal Therapy and Positive Psychology.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  This is different for every client. For some people, just talking to another person may be a huge victory in itself, especially if they've never shared vulnerably before.
  
  Many clients will report that they feel calmer and more in control, less affected by their emotions or circumstances in their lives. Many will also experience greater self-awareness and a deeper connection to themselves and with family or other people who they may have been estranged from.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  It's given me more insight and self-awareness and helped me respond to difficulties much better. I'm a more patient person and more accepting of the parts of myself that I struggle to love, which in turn has made me more accepting of others.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  The privilege of getting to sit with people and be admitted into their lives. I learn so much from every person I work with. Every single person has something deep and worthwhile to share. I also love getting to see people evolve, grow and thrive close up. It's a very special privilege.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  I started losing my hair when I was 23, so I'm not sure that I've had a good hair day in years!
  
  In all seriousness, I am only human and naturally, I have bad hair days. One thing I have noticed, however, is that the more I have worked on myself the less bad and frequent those days have become. Things still dip and go down from time to time, but those dips don't feel as deep. I'm also better at just 'sitting with it' rather than trying to change things or acting out in response to my situation. I've learned that everything changes, eventually. That's been a hard lesson to learn, however.

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  Disconnection.
  
  Disconnection from each other as we descend into tribalism and live more of our lives online; disconnection from ourselves; disconnection from our bodies, as we live more and more of our lives in our heads; disconnection from the world around we live in as we are urbanised and removed from nature; disconnection from lives of deep meaning and purpose; and disconnection from traditions and spirituality.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  Victor Frankl- Man's Search for Meaning