A conversation with Mary Cantrill

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  From a young age, I have always been fascinated by human behaviour and the complexities of the mind. Understanding the intricate workings of the human psyche captivates me, and I am continuously driven to deepen my knowledge in this area. Through professional practice, I am able to apply my clinical knowledge and understanding to help couples and families achieve personal growth and positive change.
  
  One of my strengths lies in my communication and interpersonal skills. I have a natural ability to connect with others and create a safe space for open dialogue. These skills have enabled me to build strong therapeutic relationships with my clients, fostering an environment where they feel heard, understood, and supported.
  
  Above all, I value meaningful work that allows me to make a difference in people's lives. I am humbled by the opportunity to guide others on their journey towards self-discovery, resilience, and personal fulfilment. It is a profession that continuously challenges me to grow both personally and professionally, and I am grateful for the privilege to walk alongside individuals as they navigate their own paths toward healing.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  My professional career in working with couples, families, particularly in areas of mental health, grief and loss, and trauma, has been shaped by a diverse range of philosophical approaches. Initially, I was influenced by Family Systems Theory, which provided me with a foundation for understanding the interconnectedness of individuals within their relational and social contexts.
  
  As I delved deeper into my work, I began incorporating various therapeutic models such as:
  - Post Milan, Structural, and Strategic Family Therapy
  - Bowen Family Systems
  - Narrative Therapy
  - Solution-Focused Therapy
  - Attachment Theory,
  - Emotion-Focused Therapy
  - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
  - Imago Dialogue Therapy
  - The Gottman Method
  - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
  - Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) with couples
  
  These approaches shape my clinical understanding of the complexities and dynamics present within relationships and families, and guide my interventions and strategies. I am committed to offering comprehensive and evidence-based care, and integrate mindfulness practices, acceptance, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness into my sessions with couples and families.

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  I am interested in promoting healthy relationships, enhancing communication, fostering emotional well-being, and supporting individuals and families in navigating the various challenges and transitions they face throughout their lives. The goal is to create a safe and supportive therapeutic space where clients can explore and work towards healthier and more fulfilling relationships and family dynamics.
  
  In particular, these aspects of the couple and family journey that I am interested in include:
  
  1. The dynamics within intimate relationships and families.
  2. Examining how patterns and behaviours are passed down through generations, which can shed light on the complexities of family dynamics.
  3. Attachment and Bonding and the impact of early attachment experiences on current relationships.
  4. Communication and Conflict Resolution and helping clients develop these skills, fostering understanding, empathy, active listening, and constructive problem-solving techniques.
  5. Life Transitions and Challenges such as parenthood, blending families, relocation, loss, or major life events. I am interested in supporting individuals and families through these transitions and helping them navigate the associated emotions, changes, and adjustments is an important aspect of couple and family therapy.
  6. Recognising and valuing cultural, ethnic, and individual diversity and understanding the impact of cultural factors on relationships and providing culturally sensitive interventions.

• What methods do you use?

  It's important to note that I integrate multiple methods and adapt my strategies based on the specific needs of the clients I work with. The choice of method is based on assessment of the presenting issues, and the therapeutic goals established in collaboration with clients.
  
  I am a relational and family focused therapist who works collaboratively with clients. I offer face to face and see clients via Telehealth. I primarily work with couples and families. While dyadic and systemic practice is my primary method of practice, I also work with individuals providing supportive counselling, brief therapeutic interventions, case management and advocacy, and by working closely within multidisciplinary teams and key professionals to best support clients.
  
  I also offer a mediation service aim to support separating couples. Through my in-depth understanding of the intricate dynamics and post-separation challenges that often arise, especially in high-conflict situations, I offer a unique and highly skilled clinical approach to family dispute resolution practice.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  The timeline for change in couple and family therapy can vary widely depending on the unique dynamics and challenges present in each situation. It's important to recognise that therapy is a process, and change occurs at different rates for different individuals and families. However, some factors that can influence when things might start to change:
  
  - Commitment to change
  - The Therapeutic Alliance
  - Understanding and Insight
  - Skill Development
  - Emotional Processing
  - Targeted Goals and Milestones
  
  It's important to note that the therapeutic process is not linear, and setbacks or challenges can occur along the way. Each couple or family's journey is unique, and the timeline for change will depend on various factors. Regular communication and reviews provide insight into the progress being made and help manage expectations.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  Engaging in my own therapy helps me gain personal insight and self-awareness, which is crucial for maintaining a healthy therapeutic relationship with my clients. Secondly, it allows me to process my own emotions and experiences, preventing burnout and enhances my ability to empathise and support others. Lastly, personal therapy helps me continually refine my skills and deepen my understanding of therapeutic techniques and approaches.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  One aspect that I find compelling about being a therapist is the opportunity to facilitate positive change and assist couples and families in overcoming their challenges. Witnessing the personal growth and resilience of clients is incredibly rewarding and reinforces the significance of the therapeutic process. Additionally, establishing meaningful connections with clients and creating a safe and supportive space for healing fosters a deep sense of fulfilment and purpose in my work as a therapist. Furthermore, the ongoing learning and professional development inherent in this field keeps me engaged and motivated, allowing me to stay informed of current research, therapeutic techniques, and best practices to continually enhance my skills and provide the best possible care.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  Yes. I encounter difficulties and stressors like all people. It's important to prioritise self-care, seek support when needed, and maintain a healthy work-life balance to navigate these experiences effectively. I strive to acknowledge and address challenges, as this contributes to my personal growth and enhances my ability to support others.

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  There are numerous significant problems facing the world today. These challenges include climate change, global inequality, poverty, conflicts and wars, political instability, lack of access to education and healthcare, human rights violations, and the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. Determining the single most significant problem is subjective and can vary depending on one's individual perspectives and priorities. In my opinion, it is crucial to address these interconnected issues collectively to foster a sustainable, just, and prosperous future for all.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  Here are a few notable books:
  
  "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl: This profound memoir explores the experiences of Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, as he reflects on finding meaning in life even in the midst of extreme suffering. It provides powerful insights into human resilience, the pursuit of purpose, and the ability to find hope in the most challenging circumstances.
  
  "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho: This novel presents a young shepherd boy as he seeks his personal legend and discovers the importance of listening to one's heart, embracing change, and following one's dreams. It imparts lessons about the power of self-belief, the pursuit of one's true purpose, and the transformative nature of the journey.
  
  "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle: This spiritual guide invites us to embrace the present moment and find inner peace. It explores the concept of mindfulness and offers insights into letting go of past regrets and future anxieties, allowing readers to connect with their true essence and live more fulfilling lives.
  
  "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz: This book presents four principles rooted in ancient Toltec wisdom that can guide us towards personal freedom and happiness. It explores the power of impeccable word, not taking things personally, not making assumptions, and always doing one's best, providing a roadmap for personal transformation and improved relationships.
  
  "The Untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer: This spiritual guide delves into the nature of consciousness, self-identity, and inner freedom. It offers practical insights and practices to release limiting beliefs, let go of emotional blockages, and experience a more expanded state of being.