Ms Kate Deakin

A conversation with Kate Deakin

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  Many people had suggested I become a counsellor, including since I was young. But it was really only after I had benefited (and continue to benefit!) from my own therapy that I became drawn to counselling and psychotherapy as a profession, and inspired to share the valuable insights and tools I have learned, and continue to learn. With my background in philosophy and spirituality, I was drawn to psychotherapy specifically, because of its philosophical approach, depth of wisdom, spirituality, wide range of tools and ideas, and optimistic orientation towards healing and growth. And the breadth of psychotherapy and its many approaches continually stimulates my curiosity. Yet what psychotherapy is, is constantly evolving.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  I have received training in a variety of different kinds of psychotherapy, such as Focusing, body psychotherapy, spiritual therapy, narrative therapy and psychodynamic therapy, although my philosophical influences are much wider than those approaches. My philosophical approach is also informed by trauma theories, such as polyvagal theory and seeing all the various aspects of our being as part of an interconnected whole.

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  I am yet to come across an aspect of health or the human journey that I wasn't interested in. Every aspect is important and interrelated. In therapy we start with what clients are most concerned about. But because all aspects of us are interrelated, when changes are made in one area, that flows through to other areas of their lives.
  
  Some of the areas where I work include anxiety, depression and difficult emotions; self-esteem; insomnia; dealing with the pandemic; existential issues such as fear of death, sickness, isolation, dealing with uncertainty, change, and loss; lack of purpose and meaning (and fulfillment) in life and life goals; building resilience and inspiration; making decisions; relationship challenges; relationship with time; general life challenges. Clients can bring any challenges they are experiencing to sessions, and we can see whether therapy can help.

• What methods do you use?

  I primarily use Focusing, body psychotherapy, spiritual therapy, narrative therapy. psychodynamic therapy, parts work and existential therapy. However my emphasis is more on facilitating the client's own healing processes, and there are many ways of doing that. There is such a diversity of methods, all of which have something unique and valuable to offer, so I have studied a variety of methods, including other methods not mentioned. Different things will help different clients and at different times, so it is useful to have a variety of options. Therapy is a highly creative process.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  Therapy is a process, a process of growing in awareness, learning and unlearning. However, clients should start to notice some progress and have a clear sense of whether it is helpful in the first few sessions. Usually clients start with regular sessions to gain traction and sessions usually become less frequent over time as progress is made. A big part of therapy is helping clients make contact with their own understanding and internal processes. When a client can do this they will know progress is being made, they will feel it. Their internal navigation system develops.
  
  We are all different yet also similar in many ways. Common signs of progress are: clients gain more contact with themselves; they start to become aware of and regulate their emotions more easily; they gain in self-acceptance; their relationships improve; they feel freer and more vitality in their bodies; they gain wider perspectives on things; their thinking and worldviews become more flexible; they have a broader experience of themselves, discovering capacities in themselves they were unaware of; their comfort zones broaden; they feel greater choice in what they do, how they respond to situations etc.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  I have become and am continuing to grow more aware of the inner workings of my psyche. As I grow in self-awareness I am more aware of my body as a resource, thoughts, perceptions, belief structures, how life experiences have shaped me, how I interact with others and contribute to relationship dynamics, tension patterns in my body and much more. It has opened my perspectives on things vastly. I am more attuned to both my needs and those of others and what might be helpful in my interactions. Therapy has given me greater compassion as I develop in my understandings. I continue to grow in contact with my strength and love - which pervades us all, some of us are just more attuned to it than others.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  I love helping people navigate through the difficulties and challenges of life, connecting with their innate wisdom, expanding in their understanding of themselves and their capabilities, and gaining a range of skills through the psychotherapy process. Witnessing clients reconnecting with themselves and growing is incredibly rewarding and meaningful. There are always ways to grow and something new for us to learn about ourselves, others and life. There are always alternative, more helpful ways to meet any experiences we encounter. I especially enjoy the healing, philosophy, spirituality and creativity of therapy.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  I've never met a human being who doesn't! We are all human, we are all imperfect, we all have difficult experiences in life. I think that for all of us it's about finding a balance of making peace with where we are at and what is happening now, and making the change we can, if that feels like what is needed. However it starts with first accepting what is present for us now. As pioneering therapist Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change”. Therapy offers us many possible avenues for personal growth and for navigating the inevitable challenges of life. As I increasingly learn ways of meeting myself and the difficulties of life, I am becoming increasingly more compassionate towards myself and others, and increasingly resilient in how I meet the challenges in my own life. It naturally inspires me to share what I have learned and am learning.

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  If I were to try to reduce it to one overarching theme, it seems to me that the most significant problem we face in the world today is disconnection: our disconnections from ourselves, others, the earth. Because all of these are interconnected. To the extent that we can see and understand this we suffer less. Just imagine if everyone could always see that how we treat others impacts on us, that other people's wellbeing is tied to our own, that how we treat our ecosystem, our home, is tied to how we are treating ourselves, and that we are harming ourselves? What a different, happier world we would live in. At the same time I try to come to terms with the fact that this is not how it is. So I just do my best to reconnect myself, and help others reconnect if they wish to. Reconnecting is a gradual process, but it helps to know that it is also a natural process. And that you can feel it.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  I love listening to music, especially soul music. I enjoy reading and thinking about a variety of things. I am currently enjoying Toward a Psychology of Awakening by John Welwood. There is much to be inspired by!