When I Have Highs They Are Followed By Lows And The Higher I Go The Harder I Fall.

Question: When I have highs they are followed by lows and the higher I go the harder I fall. Consequently I now avoid feeling good in order to avoid feeling bad. This is okay except that life has become meaningless much of the time. I wouldn't say I'm unhappy, but then I wouldn't say I'm happy either. So where does that leave me? Somewhere in no-mans-land. Maybe I'm just lost. But that's stupid because it suggests that I'm trying to be somewhere that I'm not when in fact I've chosen to be where I am, where-ever that is. I hope this makes sense to you because I would really like some advice. LPS


Answer (1) Dear LPS, It sounds like you feel that you are to blame for where you are. Often because of circumstances sometimes beyond our control we find ourselves in a place that we would not ordinarily choose. You say maybe you are just lost. Many people feel lost at different times in their life and with the help of a good therapist are able to find themselves again. The experience of therapy has the potential to give meaning to your life when everything else feels meaningless. Everything you have written makes perfect sense to me but rather than advice, I would make a suggestion; find yourself a therapist that you feel comfortable with and that you feel you can trust. You might have to try a few before you find someone that clicks for you. Persevere, it will be worth it in the long run.

Answer provided by Sue Paton, Psychotherapist

Answer (2) It's hard to know exactly what you mean by "highs and lows." These feeling states may be the result of your lifes' events but they could also be a sign of bipolar affective disorder. Just on the scant information you've provided, I couldn't say one way or the other but it does need to be ruled out by a psychiatrist, before embarking on any talking therapy. Not that a talking therapy is necessarily inappropriate for people with affective disorder but it would then be an adjunct, not a first line treatment. If this is indeed ruled out, then by all means seek out a competent therapist as suggested and see where this leads you.

Answer provided by David White, Psychotherapist