When Does This Become Self-serving?

Question: I read Rabbi Harman's article and wonder whether one of the things he is grappling with is the issue of the wounded healer. Carl Jung said, 'The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected. Only the wounded physician heals. But when the doctor wears his personality like a coat of armor, he has no effect.' Do psychotherapists use their own pain to empower the mental health and healing of others by reflecting it like a mirror to their clients? When does this become self-serving?

Answer (1) You pose a complex question here. We all draw on our own experience in interpreting the world and those we encounter. In my own practice the stories my clients bring may be well outside my own experience. When they are, I can still listen and relate as a fellow human learner. It is unusual to not find some chord in my own experience that enables me to empathise with their situation. When comparisons between a client's experience and my own are closer, I am careful to underline the differences between us to myself. Otherwise, I could lazily fall into assuming my solution would be theirs, rather than seeking to help the client come to their own interpretation and develop their own solution.

If I were armour clad, I fear I would be little more than a technocrat doling out a one-size-fits-all remedy for every occasion. I find I continue to appreciate creativity of the psyche in forming defences to protect us from our worst fears, and, when people come to me to commence work on their issues, their courage and resilience. I am careful to not become so involved in their pain that I risk overshadowing their own emotions. Such a distance enables me to remain objective and useful. There are occasions when a client is subject to such a number of concurrent issues and conditions that I may show a tear. In such rare instances, I think the honest show of emotion demonstrates our shared humanity.

Answer provided by John Hunter, Counsellor

Answer (2) One often finds that in certain areas, including that of drug and alcohol addiction treatment, rape/sexual abuse counselling, domsetic violence and to some extent eating disorders, it is not unusual to find that many workers in these fields, are survivors themselves. Whether or not this is necessarily helpful in treating others, is open to debate. From what I've seen, it seems to depend on the degree of healthy resolution of the workers' personal issues, that enables them or not, to better relate to and empathise with the client, through drawing on their own experiences. However, if the therapists' own issues are not well resolved, they cannot have sufficient emotional distance and objectivity to offer uncontaminated help. Instead, they may simply become over-identified with the client, thereby reliving their own pain and unsolved struggles. This leads to potentially confusing and melding their issues with those of the client, which is never helpful.

Answer provided by David White, Psychotherapist