Something Of Core Importance Is Slipping Away From Us.

Question: My wife and I have been married for nine years and we have two young children. I have no close friends, so other than my wife, there is no one I can talk to about personal things. I've been thinking more and more along the lines of seeing a counsellor but haven't as yet worked up the courage. Soon after the birth of our first child, the happy disposition of our relationship began to change - my wife was/is always tired and I suspect suffering from some kind of post natal depression. Whenever I attempt to talk to her, she gets upset or angry and we end up in an arguement. It feels as though something of core importance is slipping away from us. I find myself missing the fun times and staying late at work to avoid the tension that is building at home. Where to from here?

Answer: Why your attempts to "talk" to your wife are not facilitating useful communication between the two of you is not obvious but it could be due to depression. Equally, it could be due to the way you are going about it. It is impossible to say without a lot more information. I am alert to your comment about you having no close friends. Just how socially isolated are the two of you? This could be symptomatic of a base problem. Naturally I'm only able to make guesses here. Whatever you do, don't hesitate any longer to take definitive action on this. Many relationships shrivel up and die because of inaction and the old "we'll just wait and see," avoidance method. You've waited long enough. Get in touch with a suitable therapist ASAP and go and talk this through, with or without your wife.

Answer provided by David White