My Therapist Has Gone Overseas And I'm Missing Her Support Terribly.

Question: My therapist has gone overseas for 3 months and even though I was told well in advance, I'm missing her support terribly. Back when we discussed the possibility of my being referred to someone else it felt like she was trying to get rid of me. I know that this isn't true so I just told her that I understood her situation and I'd be fine until she got back. As it happens, I'm not fine and I spend a lot of time wondering if I should go to another therapist. There are two things stopping me, the feeling that this would be disloyal plus the thought of starting all over again.

Answer (1) You raise two interesting and important issues, and I would like to comment on each separately: 

a) the fear of being disloyal to your current therapist - the fact that you trust and feel attached to your therapist is a good solid basis for the work you are doing with her/him. However, during this time when you don't have that support readily at hand there is no reason why you should not seek support from another source. In fact, your feeling of attachment may well be a fruitful area for work. There is no reason why you should forego support altogether, and after all, the therapeutic process is for your benefit, not the therapist's, as I'm sure you would agree. 

b) reluctance to 'start all over again' - you have a good therapeutic relationship already but are in need of short-term support (and I feel that your therapist's absence is the/a primary issue at the moment). There is no reason why you should not work on that within a brief therapy context without impinging on the long-term work you are already doing.

Answer provided by Jan Cregan, Psychologist

Answer (2) Your therapist's chief concern would be for her client's welfare. Loyalty is perhaps over-valuing the relationship which is a professional one. If you want to see someone in the interim, go ahead. Acting in your best interests is a responsibility only you can discharge. Starting again may be overstating the problem. You should feel no compunction to present your entire therapeutic history. I imagine the work you have done with your therapist has meant that your situation has changed somewhat from when you first undertook therapy with her. You only need to start from where you are and refer only to past issues as far as they affect you now. Your welfare is paramount. By all means see another therapist so that you are well for your regular therapist's return.

Answer provided by John Hunter, Counsellor 

Answer (3) I fully concur with the sentiments expressed above but would just like to add that three months is a very long break indeed, in what is obviously an intense and productive therapeutic relationship. A very long break! It is hardly surprising that you are feeling alone and unsupported. Your thoughts about seeing someone else for a while for support and reassurance, are more a measure of the length of the break and your feeling unsupported, rather than any disloyalty on your part, or a desire to transfer to another therapist permanently. If you feel you need to do this in the interim, then go ahead without any qualms.

Answer provided by David White, Psychotherapist