It Is Getting Me Down To The Point That I Get Physically Sick Thinking About It.

Question: If one of the persons I work for was to leave I could say I loved my job, but I can't count on that happening. He's been there longer than me and shows no sign of going anywhere soon. I would leave except I need the money. I've tried talking to one of my bosses who is sympathetic but nothing can be done. It is getting me down to the point that I get physically sick thinking about it. I can see only two choices - stay and be miserable or leave and be financially at risk. At my age it is not easy to find work, so I am inclined to stay. I doubt that counselling could solve my problem but I'm willing to give it a go if you think it could help.

Answer (1) I suggest that you discuss your situation with a counsellor before you "burn your bridges" by resigning. Some work relationship problems can be resolved after you have analysed your situation clearly. e.g. you may identify assertive requests you have a right to make of this person and then ask them for reasonable changes in their behaviour. Assertive requests need to be planned well and delivered in a firm, calm tone of voice. Assertion is the middle ground between passivity and aggression.

Answer provided by Margaret Lord, Psychologist

Answer (2) Since you love your job, it may be worth discovering what it is about the person and the situation that causes you to feel physicaly ill. A well qualified counsellor or psychotherapist may be helpful in this process.

Answer provided by Dr Wendy Sinclair

Answer (3) It is a very uncomfortable situation to be in, I've experienced similar. From what you have expressed, it sounds like you feel you have no where to turn. Counselling may be an option that can assist you to develop strategies to deal with your present situation and/or to consider the alternatives in a safe environment.

Answer provided by Craig Birrell, Counsellor

Answer (4) So often at work there are people we just can't stand; and we just can't change... Therapy will provide you with skills and an understanding of what you can do to cope more easily each day. The goal of the therapy would be to enable you to deal with difficult people calmly, reasonably and assertively. If you chose to leave what sounds like an otherwise good job, it is likely that you would find the same situation arising wherever you are, so I would encourage you to try counselling.

Answer provided by Rosalie Gannnon, Psychologist