I Went Away Frustrated, And Remained Irritable For The Rest Of The Day, All Because Of A Cushion!
Question: The counsellor I go to has in her room two cosy chairs and I always sit it in the same one. The last time I went, the cushion that is usually on my chair was no where to be seen. I panicked. I like to hold the cushion on my lap and felt exposed when it wasn't there. I surprised myself by saying something, but was even more surprised that in spite of there being a reasonable explanation, I was distracted and agitated throughout the session. I went away frustrated, and remained irritable for the rest of the day, all because of a cushion! I'm afraid I will be too embarrassed to mention this at our next meeting.
Answer (1) I doubt whether your frustration on leaving the sesssion was really about a cushion. Instead of your anxiety being explored (interpreted) during the session, you were given a rational explanation for its absence. I believe your sense of panic on finding your usual cushion missing, provided an excellent opportunity to explore feelings of being exposed without it. Your anxiety remained because the underlying anxiety was not addressed.
Answer provided by Wendy Sinclair, Psychotherapist
Answer (2) I can assure you that your response is not at all uncommon and certainly nothing to be ashamed about and I fully agree with Wendy that this does provide an excellent opportunity to explore what's behind it, as long as you have enough trust in your therapist to feel safe in doing this. Just think of how upset a child can be when his or her favourite blanket or toy is taken away.
Answer provided by Donald Marmara, somatic psychotherapist
Answer (3) This is a common enough phenomenon and certainly nothing to feel anxious or foolish about. Being brave enough to discuss this, will enable you and the therapist to explore what's going on behind this behaviour. If you feel you want to hide behind the cushion, you and the therapist may find it helpful to understand what it is you are hiding and from whom. What is the anxiety? The cushion is possibly symbolic, so fess up and talk it through. You'll only be the wiser and probably feel more competent and better connected to your therapist if you do.
Answer provided by David White, Psychotherapist
Answer (4) Cushions do matter and it is OK to feel the way you do! The feeling of holding the cushion on your lap probably represents the comfort and trust of a good therapeutic relationship. Tell your therapist about it. It may open up some interesting memories and associations.
Many of us enjoyed a security blanket and/or have enjoyed our own children's attachment to these comforting objects.
Answer provided by Margaret Lord, Psychologist
Answer (5) I am sure your counsellor would not want you to be embarrassed and deal with this issue alone. You are a working team, afterall. Your feelings about the change in the therapy room may point to some deeper, less accessible construction or meaning the incident has for you. Your counsellor should be no stranger to strong emotion and be able to help you explore and better understand what lays behind this event. Good luck.
Answer provided by John Hunter, Counsellor
