I Feel Frustrated And Hurt When I Ask Therapists And Social Workers What They Know About This...

Question: I would like to know how many therapists are aware of the loss, grief and trauma suffered by tens of thousands of Australians raised in the 584 orphanages and children's homes Australia once had. I feel frustrated and hurt when I ask therapists and social workers what they know about this and whether they were taught about it in their courses at Uni and always I get the same reply. Nothing! Are we expected to go to counsellors and therapists who have no idea of what it was like for us?

I will not open up to any therapist unless they have read the Senate Inquiry report "Forgotten Australians" and the only book published in this country about our history "Orphans of the Living" Growing up in care in 20th Century Australia by Joanna Penglase. I am one of seven children and we went to 26 Victorian orphanages. It was a terrrible way to grow up. Please educate your therapists on our experiences. Mary

Answer (1) I can hear a great deal of rage and bitterness in what you say and indeed, who could blame you given your experiences. However, don't deny yourself the opportunity to tell your story and be heard by those who seek to help you. It is certainly true that the vast majority of therapists (and in fact most other people) would never have had experiences that mirror your own. Then again, one doesn't have to have had a broken leg to know that it would hurt. All human beings have experienced suffering in one form or another.

One of my most memorable learning experiences, was in seeing many years ago, an elderly little Jewish lady, who was a survivor of Auschwitz. Her experiences were thank God, light years away from mine but nonetheless, she seemed to get a lot of relief in telling me her story and having me listen respectfully as she relived the terrible events from her past. Maybe you will find what you need if you approach it as she did.

Answer provided by David White, Psychotherapist

Answer (2) I was made aware of the suffering of many children who had been "in care" in orphanages, "homes" and other institutions during my social work course at La Trobe University. Accounts by survivors of "care" in a book published by the Australian Association of Children & Young People in Care were vivid and terribly sad. Such experiences are represented in clients I see for drug and alcohol issues. I am not surprised that you feel hurt and frustrated: your experiences cry out for recognition. However, your frustration towards your counsellor may be misdirected and prevent you from getting the help you need.

I frequently see people who tell me of past and present experiences and injustices I may never have imagined. A good counsellor will admit ignorance and learn. My ignorance does not stop me engaging with people and using my skills to support and help them move through issues. I hope you can find someone who meshes with you, who will listen, and with whom you find it possible to do the work of healing.

Perhaps your hurt and frustration could be marshalled into action in a way that could make a real difference for our young people today and future generations.

Answer provided by John Hunter, Counsellor