I Am Not As Attracted To My Husband As I Was.

Question: My husband and I have been married for just over three years and known each other for six. Up until a year ago we had a very satisfying sexual relationship. I started a new demanding job around the same time. Since then my libido has progressively decreased to the point where I hardly ever get fully aroused. I have been blaming exhaustion for this, but I also think it could be that I am not as attracted to my husband as I was? He is several years older and starting to show signs of age. Although this doesn't bother me intellectually, is it possible that on another level, I am not handling the fact that he is losing his hair? This sounds very superficial, I know. But if it is true, it is important for me to admit it, right?

Answer: If it's true, then yes, it's important for you to be honest with yourself. However, these matters are seldom as simple as they seem on the surface. Generally speaking, the focus on a spouse's appearance can increase disproportionately as the other binding qualities in the relationship deteriorate and boredom and dissatisfaction set in. Think about your relationship as a whole package and what may have changed for the worse. Involve your husband in this and if things do not improve substantially, I suggest you see a relationship counselor.

Answer provided by David White, Psychotherapist