How Does A Therapist Assess The Appropriateness Of Disclosing Personal Information...
Question: How does a therapist assess the appropriateness of disclosing personal information about him or herself to a client?
Answer (1) Self-disclosure can be a very powerful tool in counselling. It can strengthen rapport with a client by suggesting that the counsellor has a genuine understanding of being in the client's shoes, and by suggesting that the client's experience is not uncommon. However, self-disclosure by the counsellor can be used in different ways. I'll often use it in what I think of as a "passive" way. I do this by communicating to the client that I genuinely understand the complexity of their situation and how they're reacting to it, without stating in obvious terms, "That happened to me and I felt that way too".
Answer provided by Graham Cox, Psychologist
Answer (2) There must be some potential therapeutic point to self disclosure. It can be a potent tool to normalise and generalise certain behaviours, feelings and opinions, held by the client. To make a personalised and perhaps more meaningful example and to humanise oneself, which can be useful in creating and cementing a therapeutic alliance. It must not be used as seductive tool or as a relaxed and chatty substitute for a therapy going nowhere. There are also certain topics that are rarely appropriate to disclose whatever the rationalisation, such as the transmission of highly personal information that could not possibly be of any therapeutic benefit to the client whatsoever.
Answer provided by David White, Psychotherapist
Answer (3) Another fascinating question... and for every therapist there will be a different response. I think that where the subject of the disclosure aligns clearly with the client's issues it is very appropriate to talk of my experience. Without trying to "normalise" (ie make it seem as though what the client is experiencing "is just life", or "just normal" and therefore "what are you worrying about?" I think it is ok to say that a particular event or feeling or idea is similar to my experience (but necessarily not exactly the same because I can never really know exactly what you are experiencing).
I have an issue with the "walking in someone else's shoes" theory that is often expressed in counselling and psychotherapy circles. I find it very difficult to believe someone who says that they know exactly what I mean, that they feel exactly the same way, that they "feel" just as I do. I am sure they are empathic and even sympathetic to my feelings and ideas but I question whether they can really know how I experience things. Therefore... I grant you the right to have your unique experience, and that I feel "for" you and hope you can believe "I wish you well" in finding relief or understanding... but that ultimately we all stand alone in this world and we escape from suffering and pain through understanding, accepting and a kind of mindful awareness that ultimately it is our individual experiences that make this happen.
A great book to read about levels of disclosure is Dark Nights of the Soul: A Guide to Finding Your Way Through Life's Ordeals - by Thomas Moore. In this book Moore talks often about his experiences and they are very illuminating. They tell me that I have "similar" experiences... not the same... and they act as a guide or street map to my coming to an understanding of my issues.
Answer provided by Philip Johnson, Counsellor
Answer (4) Like most therapists I know, I generally disclose little of a truly personal nature to clients. This protects my personal privacy and avoids the risks of a client confusing a professional relationship with friendship. Where any non-sensitive self-disclosure occurs, I am careful that the disclosure serves a therapeutic purpose, perhaps to illustrate a strategy the client might consider. I am mindful that what we perceive of a similar situation or issue, how we process it, and the meanings we give it are very individual so I need to be selective in what I choose to share and how I frame it. The commonplace therapist response to some questions, "But this is not about me" has a place though I do not insist on this where a minor human detail does not compromise the work and will humanise the contact and build trust and rapport.
Answer provided by John Hunter, Counsellor
Answer (5) Therapists differ in their belief regarding the appropriateness and extent of self disclosure. Sometimes a therapist might strongly believe that self-disclosure would assist a client since it might give a sense of empathy or hope on the part of the client that one can come through, say a particularly difficult situation. However, it is important for therapists to challenge themselves when wanting to self disclose regarding the extent to which it might assist the client. A therapist who self discloses, believing their experience to be similar to a client's invariably finds that this is not the case, since one's subjective experience is unique and personal. On the other hand, clients often report that a frank and open response to general questions like 'Do you have children' or 'Did you have a good holiday' show a human-ness on the part of the client and this can benefit the relationship enormously.
Answer provided by Clare Mann, Psychologist
Answer (6) I believe in disclosing certain personal information about myself or about others (confidentiality upheld) should this information be purposeful and I consider it of help to the client. Anecdotes about how others resolved issues that the client is facing are often helpful and may prompt them to consider other possibilities, resolutions they would not have considered otherwise.
Answer provided by Eva Fera, Clinical Health Psychologist
Answer (7) Information conveys power. Personal information conveys personal power. This is the therapeutic leverage called influence. The therapist first has to assess the capacity for power sharing in a therapeutic relationship with the particular client. Then assess the form in which this core process can be developed in order to manifest change the client sought in the therapists influence. Measured self-disclosure, including the above therapeutic effect shares the power in an information-unequal relationship - the therapist will always know more about the client. Many of the issues are explored in 'Self-Disclosure in the Therapeutic Relationship' edited by M Fisher, Sharon A Shueman.
I've noticed that with more knowledge comes greater responsibility. With more intimate knowledge comes greater intimate responsibility. We negotiate personal responsibility with boundary setting. Boundaries are like a contract, a moral contract even. Some of us are not ready for that degree of moral responsibility or power sharing; or don't want it or don't easily get clear on where we end and the other, such as our therapist begins. That can mirror issues in our history as well - usually of betrayal of our trust and abuse of our rights. And some of us inflict a tyranny of care-taking or co-dependence on those we meet, almost as if we can't help ourselves when they disclose something personal. We take hostages even in a social gathering, hide away in a corner and 'process' someone's pain to fill the void in our own self-care.
But most of us, most of the time given the opportunity to examine and openly share power in a transparent way; to jointly explore and maintain appropriate and robust boundaries in a therapeutic or a teaching or an intimate relationship, will discover that almost any self-disclosure is possible for either party without doing harm to either the therapeutic alliance, the fiduciary contract that defines it or of deepening intimacy in a relationship of manifestly equal power.
Self-disclosure is not necessary for some therapies - witness the proven effectiveness of Panic Disorder treatments run by a computer program and delivered over the web. And by contrast, a level playing field of self-disclosure and power sharing, where both client and therapist disclose as they swap the roles is available and proven effective in co-counselling. Though anything is possible, everyone makes a personal choice consistent with their style and perception of the role of therapist and its context.
Answer provided by Peter Fox, Clinical Psychologist
