Even When I Try Hard, One Thing Or Another Happens To Prevent Me From Arriving On Time.

Question: I can't be sure if I'm getting worse or just worrying more but for a long time I've had trouble going places and getting things done on time. I procrastinated as a teenager getting my school work completed by the due date and as an adult I'm late to special occasions, even my own brother's wedding. My friends and my family now expect me to be late. I'm in my mid thirties and starting to think there is something wrong with me because even when I try hard, one thing or another happens to prevent me from arriving on time. I would be exaggerating if I said "everything works against me" but it does describe how I feel. I think I should talk to someone but I don't know anyone else who has this problem, I don't even know what to call this problem. Is it a phobia? I hope you can help. Tracey, Beecroft

Answer (1) Tracey, recognising and owning a problem is an important and courageous step forward. With some hard work on your part, you can now begin to understand and eventually, overcome it. Everyone has the occasional "bad luck", negative set of circumstances etc but not every time, for ones' whole life. The unconscious works in mysterious ways indeed and I have seen this "procrastination syndrome" many times before, in a few different guises. Basically in these cases, the crux of the matter seems to be, that there is a constant internal battle going on between knowing what we have to / should do and a more hidden, underlying wish to avoid doing anything that is not of our own choosing. This produces a subtle resistance to the activity, that constantly undermines our resolve and can make us appear lazy, unreliable, lacking commitment etc. The devil is always in the detail however and the answers specific to you as an individual, lie in exploring your developmental history, within the complexities of your interpersonal relationships. See someone soon. This is not going to go away spontaneously.

Answer provided by David White, Psychotherapist

Answer (2) Hi Tracey, Without a thorough discussion with you it is not possible to understand what are the causes of you being late to events or getting things done on time. It sounds like this is really worrying you and stopping you achieving the things you want to do. For this reason, I would suggest you consult a psychologist to help you with some strategies to overcome the problems you are having.

Answer provided by Dr Helen Stallman, Psychologist