Come December I Turn Into An Irritable Grump Who Fantasises About Setting Fire To All The Christmas Trees.

Question: Last night I went to do my shopping as I normally do on a Thursday night but after spending what seemed like an eternity driving around looking for a park I gave up and went home. I'm not one for road rage but I can tell you, I was really fuming. Today, driving to work without my morning cup of coffee (no milk) I was trying to figure out why I've come to loathe Christmas so much and all the craziness that goes with this 'special' time of year. I came to the conclusion that Christmas is fun only for children. And, since I don't have children (not ready to go down that path just yet) I find the whole deal a hassle more than anything. Well, that's probably an understatement. Come December I turn into an irritable grump who fantasises about setting fire to all the Christmas trees and banning the sale of Christmas cards (am I the only one who doesn't send them?) To top it off, my name is Carol! Can you believe that?

My husband, who is no big fan of Christmas either, doesn't approve of how upset I get about it. He says I'm overacting and need therapy. My problem is, he's not joking - and I'm secretly starting to wonder if he's right.

Answer: Carol, I don't think there would be too many people who could philosophically disagree with aspects of your assessment of the season. Of course the celebration of Christmas was originally a religious observance but in our secular society, it has become perverted into a cynical, commercial circus and a season of overindulgence. Having said that, it seems to be that your particular objection lies in your feeling that Christmas is largely for children, with whom you as yet are not involved. Perhaps your disgruntlement over Christmas originates from your own childhood experiences of Christmas, whatever they may have been.

If we happen to come from a dysfuntional family, Christmas is often a time when we are thrown together with people we have probably managed to avoid for the rest of the year. We are then required to suspend past hurts and pretend that we were always one loving, caring and involved bunch. Add plenty of disinhibiting alcohol to this suppressed mix of emotions and it's one big potential explosion. I have no idea whether any of this applies to you personally but even you seem to acknowledge that your reaction to the season is extreme and perhaps not completely justified by the present circumstances. It's probably worth the time and effort to see someone and explore the origin of your "Christmas-aphobia". Otherwise when you eventually do do the kids thing, it could have a flow on souring effect on their experiences.

Answer provided by David White, Psychotherapist