Can You Suggest Some Guidelines As To What Age Is Okay To Leave Children At Home Unattended?

Question: It is the school holidays and I wasn't able to get time off. My husband insists that our girls aged 11 and 14 are old enough to be at home during the day on their own while I'm at work (for 5 hours). The girls also like the idea but I'm not convinced. They get on well together and I trust them but I feel uncomfortable about leaving them. Can you suggest some guidelines as to what age is okay to leave children at home unattended?

Answer (1) This is a question that exercises all parents and one which needs regular review throughout the parenting period of your lives. It is not possible to suggest an age as children and their environments are so individual. Many parents do leave their children unsupervised for work, unexpected meetings, vehicle breakdowns and the like.

Leaving children without adult supervision is never completely risk-free. The issue is how well the risk can be managed and catered for and your level of comfort as a parent with the arrangements you make. The telephone, internet and unscheduled callers to your family home are all potential problems you need to consider. Children need to have clear instruction about what to do regards unforeseen contacts. I would regard telephone numbers they can call for help, access to neighbours who are available to come to their assistance, pre-arranged telephone check-ins, if not a well-vetted adult who can be on site some of the time, as fundamental..

Even responsible children can be overwhelmed by sudden emergencies in the home and panic. An accidental fall, a faulty appliance, a simple kitchen fire may be more than a child can be relied upon to manage safely. Some of your concern may stem from childhood memories of how quickly children can get themselves into dangerous situations. It would be reasonable for your husband to be made aware of your concerns about leaving the children alone. It is unfair for one parent to be left holding all responsibility for such a decision. Further discussion with an objective person versed in such matters may assist you both. Other parents, child-centred agencies, Community Health services and the Department of Childrens' Services are some avenues of support and advice.

Answer provided by John Hunter, Counsellor

Answer (2) On a practical level, do you trust your older daughter to babysit your younger daughter as that is essentially what will happen. My niece is 14 and babysits her two younger brothers. She has done a babysitting course which she got a certificate for. This course included instruction on what to do in an emergency and she also had to do a first aid course as part of the general requirements. Her parents now feel comfortable knowing that she has had to meet requirements which deem her capable of babysitting. Check to see if there is a course around in your area.

Answer provided by Jacqueline McDiarmid, Psychotherapist