Carolyn Spillett

A conversation with Carolyn Spillett

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  My childhood experiences and my curiosity about human interactions formed the basis of my decision to become a counsellor/psychotherapist.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  Three approaches have greatly influenced my professional development. Firstly, underpinning all else is the concept that the client is central to the process and that the relationship between the client and counsellor greatly impacts on the outcome of the work. In addition, the approaches of both Emotionally Focused Therapy and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy work together connecting the worlds of emotion and bodywork, supporting the integration of oneself into the present. My own personal development has also been influenced by Transactional Analysis.

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  Building on a person's internal strengths and resilience, in order to live a fuller life in the present moment.

• What methods do you use?

  My training and experience is in a variety of counselling approaches/methods which I tailor to suit individual needs. The tailoring of the therapeutic work is a collaborative process between the client, their circumstances and myself as the counsellor/psychotherapist. How we are working together is reviewed as part of the therapeutic process.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  There is no one size fits all answer to this question. For some it may only take a few sessions for others they may start on one aspect and open up to others. Feedback from clients tells me that the experience of really being listened to, even in a first session, can have a profound effect.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  It has taught me the difference between empathy and sympathy and has showed me how to listen, set boundaries, ask for what I need and own what is mine. It has shown me the power of compassion and has taught me that all emotions are important - emotions like fear, sadness and anger are indicators that something is not ok, that it is how I behave as a result of an emotion that is either appropriate or not. Being aware of and owning my own emotional world means I am taking responsibility for myself and doing this contributes to the continual development of my internal resources and resilience.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  Walking along side as a client arrives at a new level of awareness in the present moment. Watching clients realise their own acts of strength, access their own internal resources and add to their long term resilience from a position of awareness and choice. Seeing clients integrate different parts of themselves.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  Yes and at the same time I also trust in myself. I trust that I am able to identify and own my 'bad hair' day and that I am also able and confident in raising any concerns appropriately, with the client and then with my supervisor. 'Bad hair' days unpacked, within the boundaries of roles, can be an opportunity for learning.

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  Loss - Isolation from others, disconnection from oneself, ability to tolerate, the ability to wait (instant need, sense of entitlement).

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  Hope inspires me. In my first year working as a counsellor - it was the look on a clients face when they came to a place of understanding from a 'feeling' level, what letting go of trying to control another adult would actually mean for them. It was like watching the lights come on, realisation, relief, joy, tears and hope. Being witness to another person experiencing real hope, is truly inspiring.