Mr Ash Rehn

A conversation with Ash Rehn

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  I have always been interested in people and their stories. I think our identity - who we are - is no't produced privately and individually but through interaction with others. We benefit from the acknowledgement of others to know ourselves. And having a listener or audience to our life stories can transport us to new places of understanding. So that gives my work purpose and meaning.
  
  I commenced my career as a counsellor and social worker because I wanted to do something worthwhile in my life that meant I would be connecting with people. The work that I do is all about valuing relationships, including the therapeutic relationship we establish in our meetings together in the counselling or space. I feel I am privileged to be invited to share in the lives of others and I grow as a person through this process as well.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  While I have trained in solution-focussed counselling, cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), Rogerian, humanist and person-centred approaches to therapy, I am most influenced by dialogical and collaborative practices like narrative therapy and self-compassion practices. I'm particularly interested in social constructivism and the ways in which we come to know or construct circumstances as problems or solutions, experiences and journeys.

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  I'm particularly drawn to working with sexuality issues, spirituality, masculinity and mens identity as well as midlife and identity concerns. I am interested in assisting those recovering from religious trauma and finding freedom in new lives.

• What methods do you use?

  I don't work from a textbook or use a method or technique in my work with people but prefer to tailor my responses to the individual circumstances presented. I don't think good therapy can take a 'colour by numbers' approach or 'one-size-fits-all'. We all have unique experiences and, while we can learn from others, we must also take each person's own story into account.
  
  I can offer to walk with people through the appointment. Exercise and movement has been demonstrated to be highly effective for recovery from depression, anxiety and trauma and working through life adjustments.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  This varies of course but sometimes people say they feel much better after just one appointment!
  Starting to feel better is a big part of being able to make progress and take steps forward. In terms of resolving particular concerns, often it depends how long something has been a 'problem' or difficulty in that person's life. Long standing concerns can take some time and might require regular contact over some months. But more recent issues can often be resolved in 6-10 appointments. Some of the people who meet with me are quite happy about having had a few sessions over a few weeks. Others remain in contact for a year or more, often spacing out their appointments as we progress to the point that they might end up meeting with me just once a month or every few months as a kind of 'maintenance' visit.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  I think there is something quite powerful in the reflective surface that therapy offers us. When we feel safe and acknowledged with a therapist, we are in a position where we can speak more freely about things that have just been in our heads for a long time. My own journey with therapy - and I speak about this in a broad way as I see therapy having very broad possibilities - has made it possible for me to make better choices about how I spend my time, put my hopes for my life into action and improved my relationships with others. It has helped me to relax in stressful situations and to respond to others in more open-hearted ways.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  I value the honour of being invited into someone's life, and offered the opportunity to share in their hopes, fears, what they value and what they yearn for. It is a privilege being asked to acknowledge what are often quite difficult steps for a person to make and then to witness them making those steps and be there to see the results.
  
  I also enjoy the challenge of finding new ways of looking at situations that might be the product of taken-for-granted ways of seeing things, or unquestioned or regarded as 'normal'. Questioning norms is a big part of my work.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  Of course! Everyone has bad days and for many different reasons. I think it is helpful, on days when things are not going so well, to be okay about that. Living with imperfection can be quite relieving.

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  I'm reluctant to propose something as the 'most significant' problem we face because 1. our lives are multi-storied and 2. people are diverse and face a diversity of challenges depending on where they live and their economic circumstances.
  
  However I'd say recognising and responding to violence and expressing love for others is quite a significant challenge but probably not a new one for humanity.
  
  I think the question of 'belonging' is quite important, particularly as people tend to be living more individualistically these days, cut off from families or communities.
  
  And for many people, making sense of life is a big question and continues to be, in a more complex world.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  A great resource for gay and bisexual men is Out of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay Mens Lives which was published by Walt Odets in 2019. I would encourage any man who is struggling with aspects of gay life to read this book.